(8/31/18. CBB)
I serve a useful purpose in life…..I give lots of people the opportunity to explore and practice forgiveness!
A friend shared this bit of wisdom she had seen:
”Just saw this quote on my friend’s page…..”
“Fellowship with God and being useful to Him does not depend on our never making mistakes, but on our constantly being renewed by His forgiveness.”
AMEN!
“It’s complicated……”
It’s amazing how much research has been done around the issue of forgiveness. How do you define it? When is it important? Is it necessary for one’s sense of wellbeing? Is one justified in withholding forgiveness?
“Forgiveness is an internal process undertaken by the victim, which does not require retribution, restitution, reconciliation, or a return to vulnerability by the victim, yet reserves the right to retain accountability from the offender.”
(Reference: Toussaint, L. & Webb, J. R. (in press). Theoretical and empirical connections between forgiveness, mental health, and well-being. In E. L. Worthington, Jr. (Ed.), Handbook of forgiveness. New York: Brunner-Routledge.)
Factors in forgiving . . .
importance of the relationship
for the sake of personal health and/or happiness
I’ve hurt people as well, need to be forgiven too
if the offender apologizes or feels sorry
religious or spiritual beliefs
do not like conflict, strive for peace
Reasons to not forgive . . .
restatement of offense
offender lack of remorse/apology
offender character does not deserve forgiveness
event ongoing/damage ongoing
event is unforgivable
(Reference: Dimensions of forgiveness: A View by Laypersons, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Jarred W. Younger, Rachel L. Piferi, Rebecca L. Jobe, & Kathleen A. Lawler University of Tennessee, (2004) pgs. 836-858)