6/12/26. CBB
The following is a recent messenger conversation over several months with a gentleman who had been in his 40’s when he came to Panama City around 2011-12 to a men’s recovery program with whom Bill and I had some contact. He did some small jobs for us while he was there. In 2012 he moved away, coming back again for a time in 2019- 20, after Hurricane Michael. He left in 2020. After that I didn’t hear from him until this spring. (I just realized that I still have most of our messages from those earlier years!)
3/15/26
“R”: Hello Cathy…On Friday I went to an ear, nose, and throat specialist and he found some discoloration on some tissue near my vocal cords. He wants a biopsy on Wednesday in ***********, **. I now live in ****, **. He said if it’s cancer it’s only stage 1. He said it can be easily removed with laser treatment. I’ll be 60 on April 6th and I’ll have 5 years sober on May 8th. Please forgive me for whatever I put you through.
Me: Congratulations on 5 years! Great to hear. Praying all goes well with dx and tx with throat lesion. All is given to God, forgiven and forgotten.May you continue in thrive recovery/ healing path. Cathy
R: Thank you, Cathy. I miss you.
Me: May you be at peace, knowing God has got you securely in His hands.
R: I am so different now Cathy…you wouldn’t even recognize me. I gave my life back to Jesus on Easter Sunday. I am free from alcohol and porn and cigarettes, too.
Me: ✅🙏praise for freedom to live without bondage!
R: I can never pay you back for what you’ve done for me.
Me: I serve the Lord. He directs your steps. All praise and thanksgiving to the LORD God, Jesus Christ. Abide in Him!
3/25/26
R: Dear Cathy, I will be 60 years old on April 6th. I am today 5 years sober. I have everything I need. I’m on social security now…it only pays $994 a month. But, I still have a full working body. I feel as though I am 20. I will never forget the love you’ve shown me.
Me: I am very glad you lived to see 60, get Soc Sec and be sober and healthy! Those are wonderful reports. I hope you can see how God was present with you and helped you through some difficult times. A Catholic friend of mine says, “Life is a test!” As long as we persevere and don’t give up, we don’t ever fail the test.
R: Thank you sweetheart 💓
Me: (“Heart smiling!”) ❤️😊
R: You’re a wonderful person, Cathy Byrd
Me: I just follow Jesus and you are, too, for doing the same!
R: I’m 5 years sober today!
Me: 😊That’s the beginning of a new way of life for many….. sobriety is the beginning of sanity and living life in sacredness, allowing all of your life to be where God abides.
R: You’re so educated that you scare me. I am so simple.
Me: LOL! It’s as simple as pursuing the mind of Christ… his is all wisdom.
R: I love you, that’s what makes me great!
R: You love the Jesus in me. We all love the Jesus we see in our “forever family.”
R: Yes, but, I also love the very woman that you are!
Me: Thank you, ***** I appreciate your many gifts and am grateful to know you.
R: I will always love you, Cathy…you gave me so much! I can never repay you.
Me: Pay all blessings forward, ****. That’s how the Kingdom of God works.
R: I have adopted a son in the ******..his name is **** ****** He has a 6 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. He calls me “dad”. I send him $300 a month. When I got my school money, I bought him a house. It cost me a lot but Cathy, I asked you…what did Jesus pay for me?
Me: Everything.
R: Everything!. Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe.
Me: He laid it all down for us. The difference is Christ was able to pick His life in eternity back up. We will too some day. But in this life we give all we can while still being responsible for ourselves in a simple and sustainable way.
R: Do you know what it’s like to be a redeemed homosexual? I’m free now. No more gay B.S.
Me: No, but I know what it feels like to be a redeemed idolator and sinner saved by grace through faith in Christ.
R: Cathy, you are so special to me.
Me: I’m not the same as I was either. That’s what the Holy Spirit does.
R: The devil lied to me…and he did it well.
Me: I’m glad to have been used by God to be there for you to help when I could. That’s the devil’s specialty….lying.
R: I was so deceived. I couldn’t see through it.
Me: The scales are off your eyes. We are all blinded to truth until God, in His wisdom, knows we’re ready to hear the truth.
R: But, a simple man like me only knows the hope of glory 😤
Me: That’s a promise for all who believe in Christ and seek to live In Him.
R: Cathy, what would I be without Jesus? I would be a hopeless drunk 🥴. My grandfather molested me before my grandmother ***** died. I thought I was doomed. Till one day, Jesus came to me and said to my face…Do you want to be mine? I said…please if you are who you say you are, please help me.
Me: Ask, seek, find. ❤️
R: Cathy, you’re so educated. I am only a pianist. Your knowledge frightens me.
Me: It’s only information until God teaches us what to do with it. It’s only notes until God makes it touch a heart. Read the Word, ****. That’s where wisdom lies. The Spirit will interpret it for you.
R: I know that Jesus hung there for over 3 hours, how did he take it? I can’t pay that price…I can not hang on a cross and even breathe. Why does He love us so much…my own earthly father never loved me at all.
Me: He did it strengthened by God until the very second everything had been accomplished according to prophecy and God’s will.
R: Aren’t we the truly rich, to have Jesus?
Me: Absolutely!
R: Millions of dollars 💸 can not compare to the grace of my savior. I was gay all my life and I didn’t know what to do. I was deceived.
Me: More precious than silver, more costly than gold, more beautiful than diamonds….. Our Lord is!
R. Cathy, my sensuality doesn’t matter anymore…I know Jesus! My regret is that he hung there and died in the heat for me.
Please respond.
Me: It is an amazing reality when we understand it.And humbling beyond any degree.
R: Only a man like Jesus could take it. I could never take the cross.
Me: Absolutely. God Himself. From the very beginning of mankind’s sin, God always made it His own choice to redeem us. We could never do it for ourselves.
R: Why did He do it, I mean, how?
Me: Love. Created us. Loves us steadfastly and desires fellowship with us.
R: Then in that case, I am the most wealthy man in the world 🌎
Me: 👍
R: I possess the son of God. He makes me clean. Again.
Me. Absolutely!
R: I can’t live without Jesus, Cathy.
Me: No one who has come to know Him can. He is the very air we breathe.
4/17/26
R: I had a biopsy yesterday. If it’s cancer, it’s stage 1. Can be removed by laser treatment.
Me: Good report!
R: Thank you. If I could go back and change anything, I would change the last few months with you. I’m so sorry for what I put you through. From the day I met you, you were already one of my favorite people. I can’t go back and fix what I regret now but I can tell you that I love you. Telling you I love you is the most important thing that I can do.
Me: God always has a purpose for paths crossing. I’m grateful that God persisted in wooing you and that you have found joy in living. Don’t carry regrets. Let them go. I prayed and trusted that God would bring other people along who’d continue to encourage you. And clearly He did. I’m praying all goes well with the biopsy and that you find more of God’s healing work has already occurred! We’re brother and sister in Christ’s love, so we share in an eternal kingdom that has already begun for us!
R: I didn’t get the results of my biopsy yet. But I have a follow-up appointment with the surgeon on April 23rd. Thank you for your concern and your prayers Cathy 🥰
Me: 😊❤️Don’t worry. God’s got you covered.
R: Thank you so much Cathy!
Being 60 is not a problem for me. Giving my life back to Jesus was God doing me a favor. I can’t survive without Jesus Cathy. I’m glad for the encounter I had with Jesus a few weeks ago. It was an ordinary afternoon. Then, it hit me! I was sitting at my kitchen table having coffee and a cigarette. The suddenly the atmosphere changed around me. A great peace came over me and I froze in my chair. Somehow, I realized that at that moment that I belonged to God. I had never experienced my salvation the way it hit me in my kitchen! After it happened I thought about Paul being knocked off hi horse on the road to Damascus. I immediately went to YouTube and played “Oh holy night” sung by Mariah Carey. What an experience it was. I had been visited by Jesus Himself! I fell into tears and was overtaken by such peace indescribable. The spirit of homosexuality had been stripped off me finally. For the first time in my life I felt true freedom. What Satan does to children is a crying shame. I want you to know that I’m alright. All my bills are paid. I have plenty of groceries. I have in home nursing care every Monday morning to fill my medication box. I have cleaning service every Tuesday afternoonto do my floors. I have Medicaid insurance. I have a prescription for “Ensure” protein drinks. All of my medications are delivered to my front door. The bus service here comes to my front door. I now have senior bus passes that only cost $20 for 20 rides. I get 2 free round trip bus passes every week from DCF. I get $190 monthly in food stamps. If I have ever hurt your feelings I’m apologizing now. Now I know what repentance really is. All my fears are gone. I feel young again somehow though I’m 60 years old. I’m telling you this because I know you care about me! I just want you to know that I’m safe and that I’m free from sexual addiction.
Me: What a special manifestation of PRESENCE by the Holy Spirit! It is truly a gift when God chooses to enter into the moment with us! Stillness and receptivity are moments when the gift of the Abiding PRESENCE is often known. I pray He will speak to you with words of love and affirmation…. “You are my beloved son, *****, in whom I am well pleased!”
R: Thank you Cathy
👍
6/5/26
R: Hello Cathy. I’m 5 years and a month sober now. I think I told you that I gave my life back to Jesus on Easter Sunday 2025. I have been going to church regularly and attend a dinner and Bible study on Monday evenings. My life is much better now and I have a lot of good Christian friends. I don’t have cancer though on March 13th this year I was asked to get a biopsy by an ear nose throat specialist because I went to see him about strep throat. God provides everything I need and I’m comfortable. Again, I’m sorry for anything I put you through while I was living with *****. The program I was in just before I came to you wouldn’t let me have my pain or psych meds. I couldn’t stay sober under those conditions. Fortunately I will never be homeless again. I stay in obedience to God as much as I know how. Today, I take 10 mg of oxycodone 4 time a day and a mild prescription muscle relaxer at bed time. I’ve had one epidural in n January and will have another on on July 30th. I get trigger point injections every 2 weeks and they are painless and work very well. I sew and do alterations at home for extra money and I still get piano work occasionally. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I turned 60 years old this year on April 6th. For my age I’m fortunate to say I’m doing well and always have a little more than I need each month. I hope you’re doing well these days. Have a good night and a good weekend.
Me: I’m glad to hear the update, ***** I had prayed the biopsy report would be good! Im so grateful for your life changes that have led to stability, peace, and abundance in Christ.
My little 2.5 yo shih tzu baby had heart surgery Wednesday at Auburn Vet School. I brought her home yesterday and we’re having a quiet weekend at home while she recovers. I am well. Still doing ministry but not managing residential program. Teaching, counseling and doing case management.
R: Thank you Cathy. It’s good to hear from you.
Me: ✅😊
R: 😁
6/12/26. CBB
My ministry friendship with this young man was during the disruptive years of my journey within the United Methodist Church’s tilt toward progressivism, including celebrating and normalizing homosexual behavior in leadership, dismantling the Book of Discipline and policies I and others believed should be kept, and tolerating heretical Christology by elected bishops. I knew in my heart that my differences with the UMC were not based on hatred, but on a mandate to remain faithful to the Word snd Spirit. I remember lamenting prayer before the LORD God as I prayed during the one of most heartbreaking moments of realizing that the conflict was going to come to a traumatic division of the UMC. I asked God to please resolve the conflict over homosexuality between the factions for the sake of Christ’s name and the church. God spoke lovingly into my spirit that He is going to do that in His timing, that it would not shame, humiliate, or destroy those He loves….and it was not to be a source of lament to me any longer. I am just to continue to love those who are lost in the deception of homosexual sin, just as in all other sins, and He will redeem according to His plan and time. I had the firm sense that it would not happen in my lifetime. I should not have been so doubtful. About the same time this spring that I heard from this man, I got a call from a young woman caught up in tumultuous emotional conflict, but denying it had anything to do with her choice of lesbian lifestyle, to whom I had ministered around 2022. She called out of the blue after years of silence to tell me she had abandoned lesbianism, given her life to Christ, is doing well and wanted to reach out to ask to remain in contact with me. Of course, i said “yes.”
In recent years I’ve seen the testimonies of Jackie Hill Perry, Rosaria Butterfield, Mike Nelson and many others. With these two individuals reaching out to me, I have the sense that God is saying, “See? I told you I’d handle this in my timing. And in my way. You just keep loving the ones I bring to you.”