Deciding When to Help and How

For family and friends Bill and I had the opportunity to assist financially on occasion. It’s hard to think how desperate people can feel at times when money is tight or non-existent. In some difficult years I, too, knew the feeling of wondering how we’d make a deadline or pay a bill. But God always saw us through Even in such situations we knew when and from where our paychecks would come and that we could, if absolutely necessary, access some hard-to-reach savings. There are those who live daily with not seeing a way through their tough times. When you hear someone that you can see is doing all they know to do say they’ve lain awake all night anxious about creditors, or a place to live, or bordering on losing the will to live, it can be heartbreaking. Then to hear how little it would take sometimes to ease their pain and anxiety, you ask yourself, how can one NOT help? It takes careful listening, having a good handle on the individual’s story, including checking the facts, ascertaining how willing and able one is to make and follow a plan to work their way out of their difficulty before you commit to helping. Otherwise you may wind up “throwing good money after bad” and enabling further dependence on others’ help. There’s a difference between a benevolent boost at the right time and in the right way to help restore hope and stability so one can stand again on her own and, alternately, just being seen as a social service agency with the expectation that you’ll always be there to apply cash to a problem that’s not being addressed otherwise. As one with the responsibility to screen such requests for help, I often have to pray earnestly for wisdom to know how to help in the right way. Sometimes it’s easy to judge. Other times it takes the prayerful participation and discernment of several people to decide the best course of action. We try to land on the side of generosity in making such decisions.