Following is part of a sermon on Advent themes-hope, peace, joy, and love- that I wrote 12/6/19… as I have been pondering on how diversely, narrowly and even incomprehensibly some define “love.”
“Consider Love. What do we know about the love of God? 1 John 4, verses 8 and 16 tell us that “God IS love”. Ephesians 3:18 tells us that we must have the power that comes FROM God to even begin to understand “how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.”
1 John 4:10 reminds us that love originated with God and because He loved us, we desire to and are able to love Him in return. In 2 Corinthians 13:11, the Apostle Paul reminds us that God IS the “ God of love.” It would appear that the first and foremost attribute of God evident to us in Scripture is God’s love. Jesus gives us an even more profound insight into the nature of God’s love when He tells us in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Then he set out to do exactly that. Sacrifice for us.
Love. Such a grand word. Such a lofty ideal. But such a confusing concept. We use it for everything from our first high school romance to the latest fashion trend, from our favorite food to our preferences in TV shows.
I was 48 years old when the Lord made a major correction to my view of love. All of my adult life I had sought affirmation….through people-pleasing, perfectionism, and setting lofty, ambitious (and often demanding) expectations for myself and others. There came a point in my life when I was struggling with a relationship in my life in which I held some resentment for not having gotten what I felt I wanted from the individual, for not having been affirmed as I felt I should have been, for not having been loved the way I wanted and thought I deserved to be loved. In a moment of quiet reflection, as I prayed for that relationship, I felt the Lord speak clearly to my heart about it. Suddenly, I felt the Lord speak into my spirit, “Affirmation is not love. Sacrifice is love.” It was such a sudden reorienting of my thoughts about that relationship, and every other one in my life. I realized how much the individual had sacrificed for me…….even when I had not recognized it. And how much that spoke about the way in which I was loved.
That’s what Jesus said. “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for another.” Self –sacrifice, the epitome of love. In that moment, decades of hurt and feelings of mistreatment and feeling inadequately loved disappeared as I realized what sacrifices had been made for me. I had never seen it before, I was so focused on not having gotten what I thought I wanted, I couldn’t see the truth of the love I was given. That revelation became the basis for me learning a lot about how to love and be loved. That was the day that I grew up, in an emotional sense. How humbling it was to find myself at 48 years of age and discover how immature I really still was. When we reflect on the extent of God’s love for us….are we challenged to love God and others more fully, sacrificially? As Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:37 instruct us, we are to love God “with all of our Heart, all of our Soul, all of our Mind, and all of our Strength!” Are we willing and able to love to that extent? What does sacrificial love look like? Giving beyond what is merely comfortable and available of our time, money, and other resources? Listening more and demanding less? Giving our disappointment when relationships hurt to God instead of cutting people out of our lives? Love – it’s not just a good feeling we have because someone affirms us. It’s how we treat others because of our knowledge of the sacrificial and unconditional love of God for us.”