For the first time in a long time I was reminded this morning of my 25 years of involvement with The Walk to Emmaus as I participated in an online devotional conversation where the topic of individuals’ experience with that renewal movement came up. I pulled away from involvement in Emmaus Walks after my experience with pursuit of deacon ordination in The UMC. Some of the individuals I’d encountered there in clergy roles had shown me a side of the ” connection” and “discipleship-making” that suggested more talk than walk. I no longer felt comfortable inviting lay people to live into God’s call if it should become a call to pursue vocational ministry in The UMC. I felt I would be too much a vessel of caution, a wet blanket to the joy and enthusiasm of others. I had seen how the sausage is made and it ruined my appetite for sausage…. not for Christ, but for the grinder that the institutional church has become in thwarting moves of the Holy Spirit.
The Emmaus Movement as a means of grace and a route of deeper life in Christ and even into the call to explore vocational ministry is clearly valid, as I’ve seen many move beyond their initial experience to a lifetime of devoted ministry. It is, however, also resisted by some among the ranks of ordained clergy who view it with suspicion as superficial and limited in value.
As God would have it, this prayer, used frequently in Emmaus Walks, popped up on my FB page moments after that conversation and I smiled, praying it by heart, with fond memories of how God met me there so often in so many meaningful ways. It was there December 10-13, 1992 that I was immersed in Life of the Word and the Spirit.
“Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in us the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and we shall be created. And you shall renew the face of the earth.
O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy your consolations. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.”
I have sponsored individuals since I left. I enjoy hearing new pilgrims’ excitement for Christ when they return. I have sent items for support. I have wonderful memories.
Some will say it’s sour grapes out of my hurt feelings that I no longer participate. There are some things that can’t be unseen and things that can’t be undone. And forgiveness does not always translate into reconciled relationships. I learned there what I needed to learn to take the joy and presence of Christ with me in every Fourth Day and to leave the crepe paper and broken cookies in the trash can.
Decolores!