Bill died two years ago today. The memory of that day is still very fresh thank God for my sister’s presence with me during those days. I am blessed to have known Bill’s devotion to the Lord and have assurance of his abiding with the Lord now. Not everyone has that comfort.
Here are some excellent thoughts for those counseling individuals grieving a loved one without confidence of the deceased’s eternal condition- From Biblical Counseling Coalition:
“Wise Words for Vulnerable Times
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I’ve been reading the rich, pastoral letters of John Newton. I recently came across one where he offers his own thoughts on the question of how we relate to the passing of a loved one where there is uncertainty as to their final spiritual destination. In his role as a parish pastor, Newton officiated the memorials of everyone in his town, whether they were confirmed members of his church or not. Therefore, he dealt with this question of an uncertain eternal state on a regular basis. The letter is dated November 1778 and is written to a female acquaintance who is grieving the death of one who was apparently a mutual friend. Newton’s words are soundly biblical and pastorally wise and worth a ponder for all of us.
Newton writes,
Repeated trying occasions have made me well acquainted with the anxious inquiries, with which the busy poring mind is apt to pursue departed friends—it can hardly be otherwise under some circumstances. I have found prayer the best relief. I have had the most comfort, when I have been enabled to resign the whole concern into His hands, whose thoughts and ways, whose power and goodness, are infinitely superior to our feeble conceptions!
I consider, in such cases, that the great Redeemer can save to the uttermost—and the great Teacher can communicate light, and impress truth, when and how he pleases. I trust the power of his grace and compassion, will hereafter triumphantly appear, in many instances, of people, who, on their dying beds, and in their last moments, have been, by his mercy, constrained to feel the importance and reality of truths which they did not properly understand and attend to in the hour of health and prosperity. Such a beneficial change I have frequently, or at least more than once, twice, or thrice, been an eye-witness to, accompanied with such evidence as, I think, has been quite satisfactory. And who can say such a change may not often take place, when the person who is the subject of it is too much enfeebled to give an account to bystanders of what is transacting in his mind! Thus I have encouraged my hope. But the best satisfaction of all is, to be duly impressed with the voice that says, “Be still—and know that I am God.” These words direct us, not only to his sovereignty, his undoubted right to do what he will with his own—but to all his adorable and amiable perfections, by which he has manifested himself to us in the Son of his love.[1]
Newton’s counsel strikes that difficult but crucial balance between sober submission to the eternal consequences of a life lived indifferently to a holy God and a hope in the undeserved mercies of a loving God. In the end, we must yield to the finiteness of our understanding in light of the sovereign purposes of the One who holds all things in his hands. Newton doesn’t offer us novel answers but provides honest answers in gracious words. And sometimes that’s the best we have for others.
Questions for Reflection
How have you responded to those who are seeking consolation for the eternal security of a departed loved one?
How have you comforted yourself in times of loss and grief?
Do the themes Newton highlights resonate with you? Do they offer comfort for a question of the eternal state?
[1] Letter originally published in Newton’s “Cardophonia,” accessed in The Works of John Newton, Vol 1, 538-39.”