“Functional religion is the essence of idolatry whereby people try to get God in their debt. Not only is this false religion but it generates all manner of false gods leading to the flourishing of hypocrisy and the harming of people. “. JD Walt, Wake-Up Call Devotional 10/25/22
This is a potent observation! As I have worked in addiction recovery, I have seen all sorts of idolatries sustained through transactional giving and receiving for the purpose of one’s own needs or desires, most often hidden by habitual unexamined use and reliance, tradition, poorly informed reason, or rebellion against authority. I first was awakened to this dynamic of the brokenness of the human condition by the observations of educator Rubye Payne in her work on “Bridges Out Of Poverty” in which she describes “Hidden Rules of Classes”. One of the features of the way various “resources”, including material goods and relationships, are valued has to do with one’s “use” of people in relationships. As I began working with populations living in homelessness and poverty I recognized the general truths associated with her chart. What she detailed among those with the experience of material and social “poverty” was a tendency to view relationships in the transactional way JD describes. Relationships become an important tool in survival….. in scavenging for cover, protection, warmth, food, etc…… all the things on the bottom rung of Maslowe’s hierarchy. It is fundamentally a “barter” mentality. “I offer this to you, you give me that” in return (unless its the meaner version of street ethic that focuses on violence, theft, power and authoritarian dominance emerges.) It is, at its root, a totally self-interest oriented ethic, what I have called “street ethic”, common in our culture today…. which is essentially a straight forward survival-of-the-fittest approach to life. One woman spent 34 of her 46 years in this mode after her mother’s abuse led to her running away from home, then away from foster care. She learned to survive among homeless populations. Her experiences further educated me on how a poorly educated, developmentally delayed young girl (“on the spectrum”), with seizures…..having had two pregnancies(one leading to a SIDS death and another to state care and adoption of her child) with a a gentle spirit, deeply wounded by childhood rejection and abuse managed to have survived for three decades without any criminal history, no major physical disabilities, and her dignity reasonably intact and without a gaping wound of co-dependency on others. This woman was a survivor. Her generosity was my first signal for how she survived. She was adept at foraging and selling and bartering recyclables. She slept hidden in the day, roaming at night, and knew all the most productive dumpsters in her quarter. She learned to be meek and genial when necessary and when to run when threatened. In relationships with counselors and other “helpers” she bonded quickly, superficially and genially. With most others she is avoidant, guardedly cautious, with all the accompanying body language. It is not so much a conscious manipulation on her part, as an adaptive survival behavior. What her counselors observed was that when she acquired basic material needs through placement in safe environments, secondary needs like protection of her belongings and pleasing others for personal affirmation became more important concerns. (Levels 2&3 of Maslowe.) Affirmations for her service to others, her generosity with food or other desirable items and hugs were expected to be returned, as she was eager to offer those to others. Lessons in boundaries, social skills, and deepening awareness and understanding of her emotions, avoidance in dealing with the past, and improved ability to master skills that had “value” in a more plentiful and stable material and social environment where bartering for needed items or desires was no longer necessary.
When she was offered correction or made a mistake that she would have to acknowledge she became distraught first with herself, wanting to run away, panic, self-hating, etc. Then if she couldn’t exercise those options she’d go into complete shut-down, full on seizure mode. When sufficiently recovered ( and exhausted) , then her anger was directed at those who would not allow her to simply go, carrying with her the baggage of her self-opinion as having (or “being”) yet another failure, with more shame, additional guilt and a firm determination that she could trust no one, a legacy from her abusive, alcoholic parents.
After three months in safe Christian community living and several showdowns on the necessity of following the community’s rules which are the scaffolding of its value system, helping her break the transactional street ethic negotiating by demonstrating non-judging acceptance and positive personal regard, she came to trust her peers and counselors enough to become more teachable, authentic and open about her emotions. It was a huge accomplishment.
The transactional, poverty-risk oriented, self-reliant, independent worldview is what is most evident in our culture.
To escape it, or grow beyond it, one has to accept some social conformity to basic rules that support shared, understood and accepted values with appropriate boundaries to protect self and others and with rewards for desired behavior outcomes. Such expectations do not arise naturally in human behavior. It is taught through cultural transmission of values, modeling of behaviors, accountability and discipline, and through evidence of benefit to those engaged in cooperating with such rules-guided and values-based community.
The highly independent or dependent/co-dependent self-interest worldviews are in direct conflict with the interdependent, cooperative, shared safety and trust mode of New Testament “spirit of the law” virtues in which all are led into respectful, cooperative, group-success and benefit view.
When the first century church model was being developed it was a kinder, gentler ethic, but with safeguards to prevent abuse of the community. With the increase of layer after layer of burdensome rules, conditions, and demands, authoritarian behavior and control traumas will emerge. That’s why defined roles and responsibilities, accountability, boundaries and discipline have to be part of the structure, with mercy and forgiveness available.
What I learned working with materially and socially “poor”. Is that while their adaptive behaviors were more obvious to me, I discovered I had plenty of protective mechanisms I had adapted to, as well. It was in teaching them the hidden rules of middle class “church” culture i became aware of and attentive to the reality of how many ways God desired to mature and transform me, too, away from culturally learned values to biblical virtues.
I have previously reflected on how often I have observed our ladies’ view of “love” as a negotiated commodity, in effect, transacted by people coming out of such a cultural acculturation where everything is negotiated based on individual self-interest. Two people remain together as long as each is receiving the benefit each wants…. ready access to physical fulfillment, financial security, help with child-raising, safe physiological material environment.
Transaction mentality is inculcated in nearly everything at the first -level ethical strata.
Dr. Curt Thompdon has a new book out on The Soul of Desire. Some interesting thoughts on how “desires” wrongly pursued devours, those rightly based on desire for relationship with God lead to integrative wholeness. He gives some interesting biblical reflections in his podcast on Spotify season 1, episode 3. Desire: A people of longing.
As long as our longing is bound in the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life, we are a target for the ultimate bargain seeking Enemy…
Transcendence fixes our eyes on longing for the holiness God desires for us through the righteousness of Christ provided for us by God.
CBB 10/25/22