This past week one of our topics in the parenting/re-parenting class for women at Titus 2 was the instruction to teach our children to “suffer well” if we want them to live effectively in a defective world, they must learn this skill and adopt this attitude.
Suffering has many forms. It is endemic in life. Jesus told us that we will encounter suffering in life and He encouraged us to allow Him to bear it with us. Jesus did not ask that His followers be taken out of the broken world, but that they be protected from evil and be sanctified wholly-Spirit, soul, and body- in the process of bearing our own cross in life.
Striving, suffering, disappointments, and failures will bring learning and encouragement in the midst of it all will bring victory. Encouragement of one another toward personal best, recognizing value of our contribution to the larger group, and celebration of one another’s gifts, graces, and beauty is a gift we give one another in Christ.
In America we have somehow come to believe that life should be easy, that no one should struggle, and that failures we encounter in trying to overcome is utter and complete humiliation. Some are so individualistically focused in an adamant demand in our society for equity of outcomes (rather than equal access to opportunity) that we actually do not value diversity, excellence, striving, personal best, integrity, and the value of working hard and struggling to achieve.
The story linked below is a beautiful expression of a culture that teaches persevering in difficulty, celebrating the hard work of those who overcome, and the fact that there is no shame in struggle, only in unwillingness to persevere in the effort.
A friend I hadn’t bern in touch with for a while messaged me this morning to catch me up on some of her doings. She asked about my grandkids and also remembered a mutual elderly friend of ours who died a year ago.
My reply to her sounds a bit like s bragadocious Christmas letter, but if it’s just the facts, it isn’t bragging, right? 😊
“Oldest grand, Catie (married to Andrew) is an assistant attorney general in Arizona prosecuting healthcare fraud cases for the state. Her husband is an environmental engineer working for the state, too, overseeing industrial compliance with environmental laws. Her sister, Haley (married to Evan and with a 17 month old little boy, Lewis) is a reporter, editor and columnist for The Dispatch in Washington, DC covering US House Congressional issues. Her husband is a second year student at George Mason University law school and helps during with the baby, schedule permitting. Youngest granddaughter, Riley, is a sophomore at UAB studying French and literature to be a French-to-English translator. She’s leaving Christmas Day to study in Toulouse, France until May she’ll get to spend some time visiting friends and relatives in Europe while she’s there. Liam is studying History snd Classics at FSU and wants to go to law school like his big sister, Catie. Brady is a junior in high school and he’s studying at a school in Asheville , NC where his basketball passion is being nurtured in hopes of securing an athletic scholarship at a small to midsize college in the Southeast.”
Bill and I were blessed to have a bunch of hard working grands….our own children thought we were particularly hard on them, but at least we emphasized education to them and they and their spouses have enjoyed their own successes, even with hardships along the way. I shudder to think what challenges face their children and their children’s children as they move into careers and raise families.
Ms. Bernie, whom my friend also mentioned in our morning messages, is remembered fondly by her.
I replied, “Ms. Bernie was indeed an exceptional woman who endured significant hardships and grief in life, but she never let it sour her love for God or her ability to find the good in even the worst circumstances. I admired her and came to love her as a friend and a godly example for growing older.”
Maybe the reason some of us have such difficulty acknowledging the efforts, gifts, beauty and accomplishments of others’s lives today is that it seems to be such an infrequent exercise. So many are driven by pursuit of personal success, individualism, competition and scrapping for their piece of what some see as a pie of limited proportion.
Grandparents, at least, still get to delight in the accomplishments of their grandchildren. And oftentimes that is all we hear about. They are at such a distance and have such busy lives we don’t get to see the day-to-day hurts and struggles that mold their resilience and determination. But their parents do and we can only trust that we did our jobs as parents well enough that they will have been equipped to do their jobs well parenting our grandchildren….. and continue to pray for all of them, our own and others of each generation