12/22/2012
Today was one of those days….the ecstasy of victory, the agony of defeat……(or something like that from an old television promotion for a sports program, I think). I had the privilege of watching the awkward but loving embraces of a family reunion, as ties between daughter and parents are being re-tied….tears by all, speechlessness, then so much to say after more than a decade of alienation. God working in giving second chances to father, mother, and daughter. And those of us who were on hand privileged to watch with a sense of awe and blessing.
Earlier in the day Evelyn and I were disheartened and saddened to discover the truth about some tension in our little communal group we’d been observing and discussing together for a couple of weeks. We believe and trust that God does not allow lying and deception to continue for long and we knew we’d eventually find out what was at work among those for whom we were concerned. This morning the dam broke, the lies found a voice, the regrets poured out. We had to admonish, rebuke, correct, instruct, and discipline. I do not question my call to the work or lack confidence that the gospel is being faithfully shared. But there are moments when the size of the task of battling the perversions and lies perpetrated on people by the culture just makes me reel. I stagger in disbelief at how these women can be so changed in some respects by the gospel and so intransigently resistant to change in others. Some of these women do not have any idea the damage that has been inflicted on them by the assumptions and beliefs they have embraced from a culture that makes no pretense at all of having any moral grounding. Are there things I need to do differently? How else can we come at some of these issues? Are they simply not ready for recovery in a holistic and integral spiritual way? I know it is not that Jesus is not enough…..He is always sufficient. It is I that am inadequate, with insufficient wisdom, experience, and patience. Please pray for us, the staff and volunteers, that we might be given the wisdom, grace and the words to gain ground in the battle.
Dottie Strong;
You sound a lot like I feel sometimes. Just as I think I have made progress in trying to teach Biblical principles to my students, I find out things that baffle and grieve me. I start reflecting at how I can do a better job at convincing them living for Jesus is the best and only real way to live…where am I missing it? Why am I not seeing more changes toward striving to serve Him? But then I remember that I am not The Message, I am the Messenger. I cannot do the work the Holy Spirit does. I cannot go by what I see on the outside, because just as some can appear righteous and not be, some can appear to be unchanged, but only God sees the heart!
Evelyn Willis:
With tears welling while reading this, I know now more than ever that God is more than sufficient!! I am proof of that and with much groaning He hears my prayers!! Today was a heart hurting kind of day but also a divine “heart cleaning” for many. My continued prayer is that His truth take root and renew!
Thank you Cathy for being that voice of reason today and for your wisdom.
Christy Mayo;
It pains my heart to see what you have written. Please know that it is not you. You have given from your heart, there are times people will falter. The temptation of habit is too strong. Prayer and Love is needed. Paitience will be granted
Cathy Byrd:
When one has moments of clarity in realizing the power of the grip of the “principalities of this world”, there is sometimes a momentary gasp for breath. Followed by a pleading prayer for the strength that only Christ can give. I feel like I know how Moses and Joshua felt in the battle with the Amalekites…. needing the support of Aaron and Hur to support weary arms that the momentum might be sustained.
Mary Allen:
Ms.Cathy,as a former student at Bethel,I can assure you that it is a battle sometimes for our identity.If I meditate on who Christ says I am,then thats who I become,but if,for even a second,that “old man”appears,then he will try to convince me that I am nothing more than a product of my past,and thus the battle begins.It hurts my heart that you are hurting.You were (and still are)the major instrument The Lord used to bring me to that true repentance.The kind that makes you not want to be the old person,but embraces the new.Some of the seed may fall on “thorny” ground,yes,but the examples of grace and truth that we are shown at Bethel are what leaves lasting impressions.We have had so many to “toss us to the side”and count us as a”lost cause”,but the one thing that we find at Bethel is the Grace of God,and “where much is given,much is required!” Love you!
Mary Brewington:
Your whole life testifies to the women. Christ has such a calling on your life and you have answered. Remember to give yourself grace as well! May our Lord wrap you in His arms and reassure you that he will make your paths straight. Love you Cathy!
David Bishop:
I feel your pain. It is a struggle trying to shape lives. I was told once that when the Queen Mary wanted to turn around, it took lots of time and miles. So we are similar as people coming from the dark to the light. I can not think of anyone I would rather have to look over my loved one than YOU! As a former TV man use to say and Bill knows who I am talking about “You done good!” Love you.
Chris Cook:
I think my favorite title for a book is Patsy Claremont’s, “God Uses Cracked pots”….that’s me and that’s you. All we can do sometimes is let Jesus shine through our cracks and pray that others see Jesus and not the clay pot.
Tamyra Lyons;
Well said Mary…. Cathy you are and continue to be an amazing leader and you are filled with God’s infinite wisdom, grace and mercy… any failure from students at Bethel past or present is no reflection of you but a lack on the students part to surrender fully to God’s will.
Cassandra Fierst:
Praying for you dear friend, and all the women you minister to!