The “crazy cycle”……repeating the same behaviors over and over again, in spite of brokenness, grief, disastrous consequences, and attempts at bargaining with God.
I’ve described this cycle many times to students through showing them how it is described by Jesus in the first three purgative steps of the Beatitudes process….Blessedness coming to one through poverty of spirit (brokenness), grieving, and meekness…..One attempts over and over again to deal with the consequences of her sinful behavior when it catches up with her. She gets to a place of recognizing the need to change as Christ offers kingdom living, comfort, and inheritance of his resources to thrive in the world…if she does, she can then embrace hungering and thirsting for righteousness and learning to exercise mercy and purity and peacemaking….But instead of moving forward into that place of change, with the little bit of peace she’s gained through Christ’s comfort in the brokennes, she takes over the reins again and, with temporary relief from the craziness in hand, she goes back on her way…until the next time it catches up with her. By the time one has gone around the crazy cycle 4-5 times or more, usually by late 20’s to mid- 30’s, the uselessness and futility of it begins to be obvious and “something has to give.” Real change is possible. However, some people, rather than being willing to change (because they don’t know how, because they have no one to encourage or guide them, because it’s too hard, because they enjoy the craziness?) , just embrace the diagnoses of “bipolar”, “depression”, PTSD, anxiety, personality disorder, ADHD, or others and decide to live in the chaos demanding that others adapt to their craziness, many times moving from one disastrous consequence to another, leaving a path of destruction behind them or giving themselves over to co-dependent relationships where someone will tolerate the craziness (maybe because of their own craziness?). There’s always an element of choice involved. It may not feel like a conscious choice, but I am convinced that it is there at some level. The choice can simply be to strive to understand and begin to work on the things that are real issues causing the chaos- biological, emotional, spiritual, social, relational, etc. Learn about oneself enough to know how to get off the wheel and start moving in a better trajectory. That journey can only occur, in my opinion, through the guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit and in community with others who are committed to helping others break free.