from 10/26/23….CBB
At a time when I was at odds with religious institutionalism on several fronts, I sought guidance from 3 respected male pastors. All 3 pointed me to the exact same Scripture… Joseph’s story… sold out by jealous brothers, falsely accused by a treacherous woman, betrayed by peers in prison whom he assisted….. until his gifts were needed by the pharaoh, who ultimately put him in charge and empowered him to accomplish God’s will. Their advice was unanimous… persevere patiently in trial, you’ll come out on top in the end. Coming out on top was not my goal. I knew I was not a Joseph archtype. I felt more like the burdened widow pleading for relief before unjust judges who neither feared nor honored God. I had no choice but to speak out exposing the treachery and agendas of arrogant forces of power and greed. God had not given me a vision of sheafs of wheat bowing down to me. But he had given me multiple instruction and a vision to speak out … even cry out….. to speak truth to power. There were many times I felt like a solitary voice but God would not release me from the call to speak out until one day he showed me what he was doing and the prayers of those to whom HE was listening in the “backstory,” as JD said….and it was not the institutions. It was the solitary nobodies like myself who were standing on his Word and leaning into his Spirit. I was not being used in isolation. I began to identify many who were called and working through their gifts and graces.
One person later said my “gift” is a highly developed “BS meter.” Another observed that I had fearlessness and fierceness that bordered on recklessness, at times. I think with apersonality that often finds me advocating for others, those things are part of the package. I know myself and through decades now of experience I know God well enough to know that he has a reason for everything he allows in my life. And time after time in one scrapple after another with institutionalism, he has given me what was needed to push through to something better. It is freedom that comes only as one leans into Christ and trusts in outcomes that may not be seen in this realm, but will surely prevail in the end.