After asking for prayer for a friend I shared some of our story together.
I have been Power of Atty for nearly 2 years for a 93 yo woman widowed 3 times before age 40 who has no family. Her only child was brain damaged and after the second husband’s death she was at a loss to provide all the care the son needed alone. Through miraculous circumstances he was placed in a family setting in a children’s group home facility 60 years ago and she was told that continued contact would confuse him and would not be in his best interest. She has loved the Lord, served others and been an inspiration to me. Last Tuesday I had to admit her to the hospital after a weekend of changes that were definitely signs of decline and Friday I took her back to her apartment on home care hospice. The decline was incredibly fast over the last few weeks, from living alone and caring for herself to now bed bound and dwindling daily. She has no family… just a handful of us, friends and neighbors, to see her through this transition to her permanent home. Pray for Bernie and me and Amanda, one of my residential program students with elder care experience who is staying with her full time now. We are adapting to all the changes and demands of care day by day with excellent support from a local hospice program. Christ’s presence and strength are evident. I’m going out of town tomorrow overnight to be with my family Thursday. Pray for the sufficiency of God’s grace for Ms. Bernie’s needs and for all of us privileged to be her care team.
I thank those who joined me in prayer. I had some caution about leaving her overnight, but realized my going would further allow the others to offer their God- given gifts in the name of Christ to comfort and care for her. I have encouraged and made a way for some of these people in recent months to be in her life and she is now comfortable with them… that in itself is a blessing. As difficult as it was for this private, independent and prideful woman to receive me in her inner sanctum over the last two years, it is now a blessing to us both that she is able to receive the ministry of others with whom she has established safety.
I met Ms Bernie about 12 years ago as she volunteered at the Rescue Mission where I worked… she had attended several area churches over the years but eventually settled at a sister UMC church. She had researched, written and presented the most beautiful first-person solliloguy entitled “The Love Story of Mary and Joseph” over the years. She has been an excellent storyteller. I hosted her at my ministry and home several times as a guest to share this particular story. When she experienced some difficulties in Dec 2019 she called me for assistance. In looking at her circumstances and after consulting a couple of professionals, it was determined that the best way to assist her, at age 91, was for me to have POA to free her from some burdens. We met with an Atty and she kept them in stitches while we worked through setting up POA, will, and living will for her. If you think having contentious or weird family members is rough, try having no one. You’ll accept even a casual friend in Christ when necessary. One can live in such an independent, confident, giving-and-never receiving way that people will assume you need no one. But eventually everyone needs someone. I have learned a lot from Ms. Bernie….
I certainly understand that for some who choose Christ as a life companion Jesus’ words are very true after his reinstatement of Peter to ministry, “Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” John 21:18 Ms Bernie and I both have experienced being led by the hand to places we didn’t expect to go, but by the grace and loving kindness of the Lord, we have gone forward and will continue to do so.
Thanks to one friend in particular for this beautiful prayer:
Lord of Creation and Father of Your children, pour forth Holy Spirit into the spaces around Ms. Bernie and her care team. Fill her with Your love, peace, joy, and comfort. Remove all worry, pain, and fear far away from her heart. Let Your voice whisper of Your love to her heart and mind day and night. Fill the hands and hearts of those You have lovingly provided her as family through Your children with Your strength, Your grace, and Your joy. Lord, we thank You for this beautiful life. We thank You for the glorious light of Christ in those You have provided to walk alongside her. We ask Your peace in all the days ahead. In Jesus might name, amen.
Me. Bernie at about 75 snd a poem she wrote.