I received a call from someone who is in recovery and whose adult child and other family members are in recovery. The person is going to be meeting with a very young woman for whom she cares and who is in jail after having been arrested with her boyfriend for drug use. This person who called me was asking for some guidance in meeting with and offering help to this young lady.
I have worked now with a wide range of women, 18-55. I have discovered that almost any recovery program to which a person commits oneself diligently will work when the individual is truly ready to change. But the key is in the readiness, not the program.
As a program manager for women in recovery, one can listen for cues. One can pray. One can decide that it’s enough to simply be one of what will likely be several programs and attempts before a candidate “gets it”. One can be willing to be a temporary holding place and attempt to sow seeds of health and holiness into a life that is not done sowing its own wild oats.
My experience is that with women who are very young, their fantasy about love/romance is still such a powerful talisman….a good luck charm….an obstacle to reality….that they are so dependent upon their need for a romantic relationship that they actually worship the person they are with or the notion of that person (or some one like him) being their “prince charming.” Until they have been down enough dead end primrose paths to know the truth….that one does not find happiness in another person and no person is strong enough to bear all the weight of her needs and desires….she will not be ready to change. One generally has to get to a place of such despair and disappointment, it seems, to finally say I will do “whatever it takes.” One has to have tried all the self-sought means of redemption before she is willing to surrender to the power of Christ to change her. She has to come to love and desire Christ more than any other relationship she has ever loved or desired.
Those are the ones that are pure joy to disciple. Once they discover the sweetness of relationship with Christ and the safety and blessings of fellowship with others who love Christ, that is what fills their spirit. They can be at peace and content and wait for what God’s will is for their life. I get weary of planting seeds in rocky soil.
Yesterday I was reading a Progressive Farmer magazine on no-till planting and use of cover crops….compared to traditional tilled farming which is much more labor intensive, costly, and more prone to damage of crops from extremes of rain or drought, as well as wearing out the soil. I like the sound of the no-till planting and use of cover crops. It is a soil enriching, soil conserving, soil building method. But it takes a commitment to years of practice on the part of the farmer, as it is not a quick process to learn or under which to cultivate. But in the long run, crop production will be comparable or even better than traditional methods.
Hmmmmm….I think God is sending me back to my study Bible to consider the parable of the soils and how we do evangelism, discipleship, and what fruitfulness in Christian living looks like! And see how God would have me apply that to Titus 2!