Double Grief

The Boyd Boys- sons of William Nicky and Annie Elma Boyd- circa 1933. L to R- Cecil (deceased 2003), Hilly (deceased 2013) and Dempsey (deceased 2012). I can imagine them sitting together in the shade somewhere in heaven in aluminum lawn furniture as they did as young adults at their parents’ home, visiting with their Mom and Dad right now! What a good time Daddy is having with them! I can hardly wait to be with them some day, too!

In a strange display of God’s timing, my Daddy, pictured in the center above with his brothers, died seven years earlier on 2013 on the same date, August 6th, and also late in the afternoon as my husband, Bill.

 

From August 6, 2014:

One year ago today Daddy died. I miss him. It hardly seems that long. And yet, in some ways it’s been interminably long……so many things have happened, and not always of the positive kind. But I am confident that I will see Daddy again some day and that is a very good thing……Love you, Daddy.

August 6,2013:

This was taken of Daddy on June 17, the day before he suffered a brain bleed while in Dothan for a Sunday School gathering with friends from their former church, Calvary Baptist. This is very much how I will always remember him….smiling, casual, engaged in conversation with people. Daddy never met a stranger and often found shared interests or common acquaintances as he talked with someone.

From August 6,2013:

Good night, FB friends, and thank you for indulging my reminiscences about my Daddy. It’s been a long and difficult couple of months, yet interspersed with moments of hope and joy, and always with an awareness of God’s mercy and lovingkindness toward my parents and the rest of us. I will forever be grateful for this time spent with them and for God placing me in Hilly and Charlotte’s family.

I also observed:
For those who may attend the funeral in Clayton, you may see a 60+ year old Mexican man and his wife sitting with our family. That is Philipe “Frisco” Arreola and his wife, Sabina, whom my Father sponsored for citizenship in the U.S. in the early ’70’s and treated very much like an “adopted” son. Frisco was a diesel mechanic who came here with his 5 children to work for Daddy in the family trucking company. Daddy taught Friesco a lot about money management and business and later helped Frisco purchase a home and his own truck and brokered business for Frisco while Mom and Did lived in Atlanta for 18 years. I had already married and left home when Frisco joined the Boyd “clan” and I never quite knew how to greet him! Frisco and Maria still speak very little English, from what I can understand, and I never was sure either exactly how he and Daddy understood each other so well! I think Daddy did all the figurin’ and talkin’ and Frisco just said, “OK, Meester Heely”.

One of my sister’s school friends remembered those years;

“I remember when Frisco moved to Shellman and Carol Andrews would pick up his kids in her little silver hatch back Honda and take them to Randolph Southern to school. The kids spoke no English. Frisco was a hard worker and dedicated. .. it will be good to see him. Your Daddy was such a good man. .. and a great teacher in life. He transfered two shares of stock to me when I graduated college -1 Coca Cola and 1 Suntrust… and taught me how I should invest and build from those 2 shares. I love that man. … he always shared his wisdom and encouraged opportunity. He passed it forward and left a profound footprint for many to follow and learn.”

Funeral Announcement:

Since some of you have asked.      A family visitation for friends and family in Dothan will be held Friday from 5-7 p.m. at Calvary Baptist Church, where Mother and Daddy were members of the Lighthouse Sunday School Class before moving to P.C. The funeral will be Saturday, August 10, 11:00 a.m. at Clayton, Alabama United Methodist Church, Rev. Jim Luther officiating. In lieu of flowers, Mother has suggested a donation to Covenant Hospice Center at Bay Medical Center in memory of Daddy and to acknowledge the compassionate and loving care we all received during his days there. Covenant Hospice, 107 W 19th St, Panama City, FL 32405 (850) 785-3040 or a gift to the Clayton Cemetery Fund c/o Kent Funeral Home, Clayton, AL. kentfuneralhome@yahoo.com (Mrs. Donna Kent) for information.

We will have some sort of small gathering for friends in Panama City who knew Mom and Dad at a later date. Thank you all for your prayers and support during this time. Cathy and Bill Byrd and Family

 

Hilly Boyd in his Daddy’s lap, circa 1931, Clayton, Alabama. His Daddy, Nicky, died when he was about 23 years old, from a head injury after falling from the hay loft of their barn. Daddy was at West Point Military Academy at the time, as an Army gun instructor to cadets. They discharged him from service and sent him home to help with the family business, as both brothers were also in the service. He was offered a permanent position as instructor at West Point, but told the General he needed to go home and be with his family……..always, family was important.

Daddy, visiting with us in the ER after a second bleed that occurred on Thursday, July 4th. That evening he talked with several family members, laughed, and told some jokes. The next day he had deteriorated significantly and had surgery. He was unable to bounce back. He had bounced back, miraculously from a similar brain bleed event 12 years ago, his surgeon then proclaiming him a “miracle”.

When Daddy had the first cerebral bleed event at age 72, when we got to the ER he said to me, “I’m not ready to give up.”  I assured him we would all be right there with him to encourage and help him through recovery.  And he did well.  The second time when I got to the ER I asked  Daddy if he was going to give all he had to getting well again.  He replied, “I don’t think I’m going to have a choice this time.”  After weeks of post-operative hospitalization, efforts at rehab that failed to benefit him Daddy was placed in the Covenant Hospice Center at Bay Medical Center.  As we prepared to move him I said, ” Daddy, if The Lord comes for you soon are you ready?”  He looked at me tenderly with a slight smile and said, “Yes.”

I have seldom cried as grievously as I did in that hospital room after they took him out to move him to them hospice center.

 

My Daddy, James H. “Hilly” Boyd, went home to be with the Lord this afternoon, August 6  2013, at 3:25pm after a few brief weeks’ illness. He never complained and said repeatedly that he had no pain. He finished his life here with dignity, courage, and grace. We are privileged to have had him for 84 years as a significant influence and patriarch of our family. Please keep my Mother, Charlotte, his wife of nearly 61 years in your prayers as she makes her home here with Bill and me in Panama City

 

8/10/2013

The funeral today of James H. “Hilly” Boyd, my Father, was a beautiful event. So many friends and family joined us for the celebration…..from Atlanta, Albany, Montgomery, Birmingham, Quincy, Dothan, Dawson, Panama City, Shellman…..all over! Rev. Jim Luther gave a wonderful message….making us laugh and nod knowingly, as he talked about so many things that were absolutely like Daddy! Rev. Jabe Fincher and the ladies of Clayton UMC offered such hospitality to us all! We are grateful for all who had a hand in making it a memorable day for us all. Daddy, I’m sure, enjoyed it, too! More like a reunion than a funeral…..Daddy loved reunions! And what a reunion we will have in Heaven some day!

 

8/7/2014

Daddy will never enjoy the addition to our home being built for him and Mom, but he’s enjoying a heavenly mansion today that an earthly abode could never match! Good morning, Daddy. We’re having coffee together and sharing memories of you. I’m glad you’re healed and happy..

8/10/2014

A year ago today we buried Daddy’s earthly body in the cemetery behind First United Methodist Church of Clayton, AL. It’s a good day to rest, be quiet, be at home, and just consider how much has changed in just over a year……Daddy’s level of acceptance of his circumstances in the final weeks of his life, though sad, was also a reflection of the how he lived his life…..matter of factly, dealing with what came as it came. It also reflected the faith that he had and that he was ready to meet the Lord…..That gave me relief and comfort. He knew that life was never going to be the same again, and that being the case, I think he was ready to go on to something better, with the ultimate healing that Christ offers in heaven….. Celebrate life here with those who are still here…..and celebrate the life that loved ones have in eternity, too, and the fact that we will be together again!