Shared from my journal from 3 years ago…….
Jesus’ tough love…..
Jesus called Simon Peter “satan” for being used by the devil to try to dissuade Jesus from following through on his mission that included his own death. He told Simon Peter also that he knew he would betray him. He rebuked Peter for defending him with violence at his arrest. He confronted religious leaders for their hypocrisy and called them vipers and worse. He physically attacked the position of those opportunists who were taking advantage of God’s people, charging exorbitant prices for sacrificial animals in the Temple. He let a stupid, self-righteous money-loving young ruler go his own way rather than try to persuade him further to receive eternal life. He said that anyone who chose family or other demands on their time and attention over following him was not worthy of following him. He said to be in the kingdom one must “hate” family. He delayed several days rather than rush to the side of a dying friend to save him. Jesus’ definition of loving people often seemed less than loving to the people to whom such things were addressed at the moment. One must get deep in the weeds of some of these situations to understand the love being expressed…..
Jesus said, ” Love others …. AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.”
Tall order.
Too many seek affirmation, obtaining self-fulfillment, to be cherished, being worshipped and adored even, which is how many define love, & they seek this “counterfeit love” from a spouse or child (or from anyone willing to use them to get their desires met).
Affirmation is not a love language. Actually, it’s a “be loved” language, a sad reflection of our own need & insecurity that reflects a God-shaped soul void.
Until God fills that void our hearts will lie to us about love.
Affirmation is not love; sacrifice is love. Commitment to and seeking the best for another is love. Needing the affirmation of another, seeking fulfillment of one’s own emotional and/or physical needs/demands as one’s primary drive in a relationship is not love. It’s immature and burdensome dependency. I say this out of living in that mode too many years as a wife and mother. And I see it in many women (and some men, though I don’t counsel men).
It leads to all kinds of dysfunctional behaviors and trauma. But there is hope in having one’s mind renewed and heart made clean. That’s the Holy Spirit’s specialty. It’s a whole different way of seeing and experiencing life.