There’s a devotional group I’m in that’s been contemplating the topic of love. I’ve shared before that I think we have the wrong concept not only of love, but also of hate. Hate in biblical terms means to separate ourselves from the acts or behaviors of sin which many believe are clearly defined in God’s Word. It is about not engaging in the sin, alone or with others, or excusing it. In prison where a margin of safety is insured and in most cases where acceptance of one’s consequences has led to sober mind and changed behavior, one’s past sins are not even a consideration, just as they are not for God when new life has come. Loving as Christ loves is just that simple. Jesus ate with sinners and shared His life with them. He didn’t excuse their sinful conduct or indulge it, ( and I don’t see evidence that they insisted in carrying it out in his presence, at least knowingly, or having him participate with them or celebrate it. He taught them and called them to repentance and a new life following Him. Hating the sin means I put it away from myself. If you continue to engage in conduct God has convicted me about, I don’t find it helpful to participate in it or excuse it and may have to put a boundary between us if you insist on demanding that I endorse it and celebrate it. I can love you but have to limit our fellowship when you bring it into my space. I can love a chemical addict and decline to entertain or house them in my home when they are under the influence. I will offer them detox and rehab but I won’t force it on them. If one respects my boundaries and my beliefs, I can certainly do the same, which means some things that we disagree on( like who is participating in what sin) may well be out of bounds if one cannot accept the other’s stand based on sincere conscience. we can still be “friendly, but not familiar” ( as siblings are familiar with the comings and goings and character and integrity of each other in healthy family) and never emotionally or spiritually intimate as siblings in Christ should be….which means our engagement will remain superficial at best, if at all. This is the state of much of the current church… friendly, not familiar, nor emotional and spiritual intimates sharing life in Christ…. it’s inauthentic, at best and locked in conflict at worst!
In a Sunday School study of The Epic of Eden, we talked about the ancient and biblical concept of ‘covenant’. In the course of that conversation, in her video Dr. Sandra Richter notes that “love” and “hate” in the Greek language are not so much about emotional feelings as they are expressions of having a relationship of commitment, or covenant with someone. With this legal view of the two words, as opposed to the emotional view, we can understand better this verse:
When God said, “Jacob I loved; Esau I hated” (Rom 9:13; Mal 1:2ff), He was saying “He had relationship with Jacob, but did not have relationship with Esau.” So the idea behind these two terms in a “relational context” is not so much one of feeling as it is one of the affectionate predisposition of the soul. One can love without feeling, that’s why you commonly hear the old refrain “love is not a feeling, but a commitment.”
( Dr. E.W. Ekstrand- The Essence of Loving God. )
Love is a covenant. Jesus said if one follows him, to be his disciple, he must “hate” family….in order to wholly devote oneself in love to Christ, being obedient to the call to follow him, the relationship of utmost loyalty to anyone else must be severed, i.e. “hate”, or not in covenant obedience.
Loyalty and obedience to the terms of the covenant is the essence of covenant relationships. It is why Christ said, too, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”