Jesus said, ” Love others …. AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.”
Tall order.
Too many seek affirmation, obtaining self-fulfillment, to be cherished, being worshipped and adored even, which is how many define love, & they seek this “counterfeit love” from a spouse or child (or from anyone willing to use them to get their own desires met).
Affirmation is not a love language. Actually, it’s a “be loved” language, a sad reflection of our own need & insecurity that reflects a God-shaped soul void.
Until God fills that void our hearts will lie to us about love.
Affirmation is not love; sacrifice is love. Commitment to and seeking the best for another is love. Needing the affirmation of another, seeking fulfillment of one’s own emotional and/or physical needs/demands as one’s primary drive in a relationship is not love. It’s immature and burdensome dependency. I say this out of living in that mode too many years as a wife and mother. And I see it in many women (and some men, though I don’t counsel men).
It leads to all kinds of dysfunctional behaviors and trauma. But there is hope in having one’s mind renewed and heart made clean. That’s the Holy Spirit’s specialty. It’s a whole different way of seeing and experiencing life. CBB 2/2/22