Love Stuck In Emotion and Behavior

“What does ‘love’ mean to you?  How do you describe it? What does it feel like? How does one express love to another?  How does one know she is loved?”

Almost always they respond with something like, “It’s what I feel when someone cares for me.” ……. always with the emphasis on what is done for oneself that makes her feel seen, known, respected, special, cherished, taken care of, etc…..

It makes me shake my head…. so much so that I had written this reflection below in an attempt to sort out and understand it and reframe their perspective on “love.”  It seems to be a matter of distinguishing between an articulation of an interpersonal “minimum standard” of the OT, honorable if practiced rightly, but not entirely helpful, given the broken nature of the human condition and our tendency to self-deceit, self-insecurity, self-doubt, etc…The former standard is the letter of the law as rephrased by Jesus for the sake of the Pharisees’ hearing.  His new commandment given to his disciples much more succinctly defines the nature of love Jesus experiences, offers, and desires them to experience and to extend to the world……. If the former, born of the letter of the law, was sufficient there would be no reason to clarify the concept of “love” (more in the selfless and sacrificial manner of Christ’s own agape love.). Instead of the self-focused love of “love your neighbor as yourself” that led the Pharisees to further quibble,”Who is my neighbor???”

While the former, done under perfect, “mature” conditions might be enough to cover a multitude of sins before God and man, it cannot do what the sacrificial love of God Himself in Christ accomplishes in ridding one of sinful heart and habits.

This distinction between Matthew 22:39 and John 13:34 merits close examination, I think.  I challenged our church on this issue of how people define love and how God defines it last Sunday in a meeting about disaffiliation when one man stood up and announced his concern about our desire to maintain the stricter ( and biblical) approach (and current discipline)  to sexuality issues in the UMC conflicts, announcing at the same time that his teen-aged son is gay…… and that the church consider his desire for his son’s view and experience of love to not be seen as pushing his son out of the church.  😔

I, too, held a view of love much like my students for many years…..but God showed me a more excellent way…

Just pondering and seeking God’s wisdom……

c

(no response necessary….just thinking out loud in response to SDT)

Actually, he did reply to my message.

I replied to him with a ✅.

His response is so to-the-point and clear.  It really puts the whole matter in perspective in a lawyerly theologian kind of way.

Based on the Exodus 17 story of Aaron and Hur coming alongside to hold up Moses’ hands above the battlefield as Joshua fought the Amalakites, I have viewed effective ministry, especially for winning spiritual battles, as requiring both professional knowledge, represented by Aaron and technical, logistical “field” expertise like Hur.  I know that I am in the latter role ….. an experienced field technician.  My problem has been not feeling that I had a professional theologically knowledgeable person to talk to and translate my field observations, or even care… That’s how it has felt. I’ve often been out here alone, working in solitude at the margins.  God has brought some resources through books, but few people close by are familiar enough with the issues at the margins where I work.

this morning I also heard a new song that really spoke to my heart today: