A devotional writer, JD Walt, challenged his readers with a story of his encounter on the sidelines of a sports field when a woman near him suddenly collapsed to the ground. When he hurried to assist her he realized she was inebriated and unkempt, likely an alcoholic. It happened that she was the mother of a player. He and another bystander helped her to her car while she slept off her drunken stupor. Pondering these circumstances and his sense of the inadequacy of the response in that moment he asked himself and his readers, “Why on earth did I take a drunk woman to her car?”
A reader responded to that story and his question saying it “reminds me that sometimes we’re the pearl-in-formation, and sometimes we’re the oyster shell, proverbially wrapping our arms around others to help them heal and help them into the “becoming” of who our Father in Heaven desires. Below is that reader’s thoughtful elaboration on that thought and a photograph that helped her flesh it out….
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To live a life hidden with Christ in God…
Colossians 3:3
I’ve seen it several times now, that crippled boat. Out of its watery home, it hides amid lush Florida vines that bloom just in time to remind me that this time I have to stop, make everybody in the car pull over and take the picture.
They’ve traveled with me before. They’re used to it, and it’s only the best of friends who will do that for you and understand how you see the hidden things, how they speak to you and draw you near.
Oysters. Hidden somewhere deep inside the most precious of those tightly bound shells, a pearl is formed. When it happens naturally, in the wild waters of an Apalachicola Bay, it’s even more rare and mysterious.
Pearls only form when some foreign invader makes its way inside the shell. That old oyster won’t stand for impurity of any kind. Over time, it bathes and coats what was originally detestable with its healing properties.
The old, murky irritant is covered by grace, reformed into something new and bright and shining, it’s value immensely sought and loved but only after a time hidden deep within what otherwise appears odd and mishapen, without merit, like an old fishing boat left to fade into a patch of raucous tropical vines.
I suppose that’s why I’m drawn to what seems old and broken, past it’s prime. I see the story. I see the pearl. I know I’m broken and separated from my original home, just as a land-bound boat.
God’s at work though. Through Jesus Christ, He’s restoring us all.… if we will but follow His holy word, if we will but seek Him and turn away from the evil of days.
We will remain hidden in Him as we grow and form and love and live, not as the world falsely teaches but as our Father in Heaven desires. His desire is for His children. He sees us. He sees the pearl. In His heart we should hide, for what is inside is of greater value than anything we could ever imagine”
By Heather Allen… (shared with readers of Seedbed Daily Text, June 19, 2022)
My thoughts:
Both of these writer’s thoughts challenge me today, incredibly so, based on events this week and my own 15 year history of working with and among people in addiction. A Certified Recovery Support Specialist with a graduate degree in Counseling and Psychology, I have accrued a reputation as “tough but effective” in a Christian discipleship-based program.
But this week I have realized more fully the impact of the lofty aspirations of my own standards and discipline through the years, and the perception of and impact on others, as well as the impact when I have failed in living into them myself. I learned early in life I was not perfect and that failure might humiliate me but it wouldn’t kill me. Pick myself up, shake myself off and keep on keeping on. However, a couple of things stick in my spirit this week and reinforces the fact that the same approach cannot be used with everyone. I know that. But even so, the women I work with, I have found expect a fixed snd dependable manner from me…. and so do some others in my life.
I have always expected a lot of myself and sought to please my parents, teachers, bosses,, etc. in my early 40’s I began to experience how such expectations of myself that got projected onto others, as well, worked against me. High expectations of one’s self is one thing, but generally such expectations of others will result in frustration ( for them and me), disappointment, being perceived as judgmental and lacking compassion or mercy, and more… like resistance, rebellion, resentment, jealousy, or dismissal. When combined with a strong work ethic, passion for what I believe, and a never-say-quit tenacity, I have worn way too many people slick trying to encourage them to push further than they were willing or able to go. Such is the pitfall of the optimist striving too hard to give others the same knowledge, desire, and hope she possesses. It took me a long time to accept the failures, mine and theirs in addiction recovery I learned better discernment in how to and when it was necessary to accept others’ limitations, boundaries, and resistance and to push less. The danger in this is that by being known as tough and demanding, people miss less obvious evidence of love and caring. Truth becomes the banner and grace a less frequently utilized accent note. Although I am passionate about good relationships and healthy community my assertive personality sometimes compromised both in interactions with some of the most fragile and broken people God brings to me. It is only God’s grace regularly in reminding me I am not and cannot be all things to everyone, and my high confidence in God to take whatever damage my inadvertent thoughtlessness or carelessness causes and sift it through the redeeming love of God’s own hands.. I learned long ago that God has many hands to do His work. Not all are like my own. Even so, they can be trusted. And not every need I witness can be or is God’s will for me to meet. The more effective one is in meeting the needs of others, the more some people will come to you for help and others will defer to you to address problems they can’t or don’t want to address themselves.
That is where I have had to learn that even in including including a broad range of women in my life, I need to set and maintain my boundaries, doing what I feel called and able and willing to do, what has worked generally in the past, and not giving too far beyond the limits I know.
I love pearls and the rich imagery of pearls in Scripture, so Heather Allen’s imagery took me into her story. For one of our wedding anniversaries Bill gave me a beautiful set of gem-quality pearls, a necklace strand and earrings. The pearls are beautifully matched for size, color, and translucence and feel wonderful against one’s skin. I wore them most often for special occasions or when I longed to feel special.
But in thinking of one’s spiritual life as being akin to “pearls” that begin with an external irritant that finds its way into one’s shell, is coated, smoothed, refined, and made beautiful over time, as I have, what then about the variety of sizes, irregular shapes, and colors and shades of “baroque” pearls instead of those cultured in protected environments by human intervention for uniformity and classic “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” beauty? Do I see them as being as beautiful? They are formed in the same way by the same laborious process ordained by the same omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent creative God, but without the benefit of standardization and control as my perfectly matched cultured pearls. And just because I posses those perfect pearls, I didn’t make them. The oyster God created did. The fact that they exist and that there are people who give their productive working lives to diving for and seeking out natural pearls in deep ocean beds means they have as much value as those cultured by industry workers in controlled conditions. None is just the hapless curious object of other people’s baked oysters Rockefeller or plate of a dozen raw oysters with crackers and hot sauce.
There are jewelers who make custom settings for the irregular and unmatched pearls and a variety of other uses in clothing and other artistic designs. Pearls are also crushed for use in cosmetics, medicines and paint formulations.
“Do not cast pearls before swine has broader meaning now, not just because of the indigestibility of them for the pigs and the waste of a valuable and beautiful resource it represents, but also because of the precious nature of the pearl itself and the need to care for it not just for its beauty but because any pearl, even the most irregular and seemingly “imperfect” unmatchable and misshapen pearl is a gift offered by God to enjoy and inspire wonder.