Living Amends…..Walking the Talk

  1. “Living amends”…..walking the talk. A lot of people in recovery feel regrets, surrender resentments, and make apologies during Steps 8&9 in the Twelve Step process. That is one’s personal responsibility. In recovery, however, you cannot determine or demand that another person’s response to the amend meet your desires or expectations. Some will accept it. Others will not. And some will simply “wait and see.” Their response is not your responsibility. Your requirement is to be faithful to God’s call to make the amends. Then let it go. If someone chooses not to be reconciled in relationship with you, don’t assume that they haven’t accepted your amends or forgiven you. They may simply have made the decision to set a boundary, temporarily, until your demonstration of your recovery walk matches your talk for some period of time or other evidence of faithfulness that only they know. Or they may have set a permanent boundary of distance from the past trauma at which you were the center. Whatever another person’s response to your amends, hold your head up, continue in obedience to God and don’t look back. God brings people into our lives and God may certainly remove people from our lives. Trust God. Give it all to God.

Faithfulness to one’s recovery demands that one “look neither to the left or the right”, but look straight ahead and walk in your recovery every day. Don’t get distracted by focusing on other people’s response to your amends and your new regenerated life. Keep walking.


There is, in my opinion, no Christian reason to stay with or return to an abusive relationship…..unless and until the abuser has demonstrated a repentant spirit (and I mean in the truest spiritual sense of the word) and can assure the FORMER victim that it will not happen again, with accountability built into the process. The problem is that many people find themselves “stuck”…without financial, social, or other resources to actually walk away. But even sometimes those who have those things stay because of other reasons…..Time to have these discussions, folks.