(first written 7/18:2017)
Love is not about each (or either) partner having a need for affirmation fulfilled by the other. It is about each partner being willing to sacrifice one’s own needs/desires for the sake of God’s BEST in the well being of the other.
I am truly blessed to have a husband who has demonstrated a godly willingness to sacrifice his own needs/desires for the sake of God’s BEST in caring for my well being. That doesn’t mean I always appreciated that in him. There were times I simply wanted to be pampered, cherished and affirmed by him and have him meet emotional needs that I later realized should have been taken to God, since they were there to draw me to God, not to another person. I sincerely regret that it took me so many years to discover the true nature of love…..God gently and honestly told me distinctly one day as I prayed that “Affirmation is not love. Sacrifice is love.” It revolutionized my marriage, my understanding of love, and my appreciation for the love of God toward me and others. It is a shame that it took me until I was 48 (I’m now 63) to hear the truth. But God knew how much failure of loving well I had to do before I was able to hear the truth. In fact, God knew that if he’d set out to correct all my character defects at once when I became a born again Christian, I couldn’t have borne the weight of the pruning. One day I was listening to Mandisa’s “Unfinished” and thanking God for his gentleness in continuing to prune and refine me, work that I expect he won’t complete until he takes me home, given how much of it there is to do!