“My therapist told me something that hit harder than I expected:
She said:
“People-pleasing isn’t really about pleasing others. It’s about controlling their perception of you.”
And then she looked at me and said:
“It’s what happens when fear starts driving—
fear of rejection, fear of disapproval, fear of being too much.”
You start performing instead of living.
You start shrinking parts of yourself to fit into rooms that never had space for your truth.
You call it kindness, but deep down… it’s survival.
Because you learned early that love had rules.
That being yourself came with consequences.
So you started shape-shifting— trading your authenticity for a fragile sense of acceptance.
But here’s the truth no one tells you:
Peace never comes from who you pretend to be.
You can please everyone and still go to bed feeling misunderstood.
You can be agreeable and still feel unseen.
Because people-pleasing is just loneliness wearing a smile.
And maybe healing isn’t about being “nice” anymore.
Maybe it’s about being real.
About letting people misunderstand you,
and realizing that your peace doesn’t depend on their comfort.
If this hit something inside you… it’s because your inner child still remembers the pain of being too afraid to disappoint anyone. Start healing that version of you.”
These words gave additionslbto content I had written about Kindness and the Fruit of the Spirit this week, about the risk of inauthenticity and counterfeiting of kindness…. CBB 10/9/25
(observed and affirmed from a post in Threads by write.within.you)