I was discussing a chronic issue a woman had developed recently that could have a serious impact on her heart if not corrected. She had been given infusions when the issue first presented, it was so urgent. Then she was prescribed medication for it. I tried to understand how this issue had apparently arisen so suddenly and still seems out of control six weeks later after multiple ER visits, PCP appointments and multiple blood tests to monitor it. So I looked up causes of this particular issue. There were 2 glaring lifestyle issues, one at the top on the list, the another was 4th on the list. She is heavily engaged in both. It was unclear whether she had been aware of the impact of these lifestyle habits or not. But she blew them off
quickly with, “It’s not a big deal. The medicine will take care of it. That’s when it hit me… BAM! Like a flash..,. “You know, what I just heard tells me that you operate under a medical mindset instead of a wellness mindset. You’d rather have a medication just fix the symptom instead of addressing the underlying lifestyle causes which are readily addressable.” That right there explained a whole lot to me about why recovery the way we go about it isn’t going to work for her…..
There is a lack of personal responsibility for her own wellbeing and no accountability to others who are trying to help her. No readiness to do the harder work….. She wants someone to just give her a quick fix.
Addiction often arises out of entrenched and unproductive attitudes that develop early in life and that have never been examined or allowed to be challenged by others The list is long….Inaccurate assumptions, false perceptions, unrealistic expectations, under development of skills like delayed gratification and personal responsibility, fear and shame from experiences of failure, unresolved grief, anger and unforgiveness over perceived or real injustices ….and more. Only when pridefulness is broken and one is willing to listen to themselves, God, and others tell them the truth and they become ready to “put aside childish ways” of the past can they begin to grow into transformed thinking, mature in emotional literacy and response, act with volitional strength to change, accept personal accountability, and persevere in the process. It is hard work. There are no quick fixes
Addiction is less a disease and more a maladapted coping mechanism. The sure and durable cure begins with a mind transformed by the work of the Holy Spirit. It’s not magic but it can be mysterious, at times, hidden under layers and layers of corrupted responses attempting to avoid or deny life’s painful experiences
One must learn to grow from grief and suffer well in life. To fail to do so traps one in deception and perpetual immaturity in one or more domains of selfhood.