“The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.”
- Frank Clark –
Our German daughter, Ingela, who spent time in our home as an exchange student, sent this quote several years ago. She is stating something important here. Some parents continue to try to live vicariously through their children or control them to keep them close, or to protect them from the risk of being hurt in life, essentially stunting their children’s lives. It does hurt, at times, to let them go, make their mistakes and find their own way. I have had more than a few women in our life recovery program whose dependence of a parent resulted in total dysfunction in their lives when that parent died. If they have not “found themselves” before the parent on whom they depend emotionally dies, they can get very lost. Some never find their way out of that wilderness of unresolved grief.
I am privileged to teach a Christian parenting class.One lesson challenges students to consider what outcome they want, THEN strategize what is needed to get them there.
Bill always said our goal was to just keep them alive until they turned 21. If we could do that we would have been successful!