I had read my morning seedbed.com Daily Text Devo…. a reader’s personal testimony about God’s wonderful grace in reconciling a broken relationship with a daughter. It made me grateful that my own daughter, Charlotte, and I finally seem to have some peace after nearly two decades of contentions due mostly to lack of understanding one another.
After that I was reading some news and opinions and an article about the way a group is transforming Georgia with nearly 100,000 new naturalized immigrants registering to vote. It just made me shake my head and pray for the Lord to give me peace that passes understanding as our nation seems headed for socialism and complete eradication of the middle class. I glanced at the clock and it was 4:37…… which in the Lord’s shorthand with me, means “going forward in the Spirit with grace.” I know God’s got all these issues and that He can give me grace for every circumstance to live transcendently in His kingdom even as what I’ve known of life seems to erode beneath my feet. There’s a time not too long along ago I would have been distressed by such reports, especially given my husband’s dislike of all things “progressive” and some of his rants. I trust He is no longer bothered by the things of this world…… As I watched the clock with those thoughts going through my mind the digits changed to 4:38….”going forward with the Spirit into infinity (also, eternity). I thought about how God had first shown me the meaning of the number “8” as being “unknown” or “uncertain”, as in the kind of unknowing that the future holds. Then it dawned on me “what could be more uncertain or unknown that infinity itself? In trusting God and relinquishing all to Him one has to embrace the reality of the unknown, the unseen, even the unknowable ineffability of God’s will.
Something from earlier in the week kept sticking out to me ….”neighbor”….. Who is my neighbor? The same question the Pharisees asked Jesus when told to love one’s neighbor as oneself ….. and Jesus turned the question back on them after telling them the story of the Good Samaritan…..”Who was a neighbor to this man (to the beaten and robbed man on the Jericho Rd.). Clearly, the “neighbor” was the one who gave aid and assistance to one in difficult circumstances without regard to the inconvenience and cost to himself….. doing unto another as one would hope others would do for him….. living the Golden Rule. Do you know how many today have never even heard of the Golden Rule, much less make any attempt to practice it? We need a community awareness campaign on the Golden Rule…..to remind people how to be a good neighbor.
It’s not the busybody hanging out helping himself to beers or Starbucks mochas in your fridge, bemoaning the state of the world and feeding your cat when you’re away (although feeding the cat is greatly appreciated!)
Neighborliness is responding with helpfulness when needed, whatever that looks like…. without fostering attachment to one’s hip and becoming a burden. When the person you started out assisting becomes a burden by their clinging neediness, selfishness, entitlement, codependency or demands, you have unwittingly allowed yourself to become their slave. This demonstrates the absolute need for boundaries. Boundaries may be loosened from time to time to accommodate a short term situation of difficulty, but they will have to be restored when one quits making any effort for himself.
“Neighborliness” doesn’t mean taking control over another’s life or moving into someone’s personal space permanently.
And such neighborliness as feeding one’s cat or helping out in a difficult time does not obligate one to do things beyond what such a neighbor would expect another to do for them. It doesn’t foster entitlement in another. People need to hear “no” frequently enough that they understand where the boundaries are.
When mine get trampled on and I feel used , I recognize it as my failure to maintain appropriate boundaries. It can be hard to reset them, usually leading to some hurt feelings or anger. But given time and reflection, most people get over it and we’re able to resume friendship in a “neighborly” way with mutual respect and courtesy.
I have many good thoughts, intentions, and prayers for others, but until I put my feet and hands to work I am no better than the Levite or rabbi that passed by on the other side and declined to engage because it would interfere with their agenda or schedule and would impose “uncleanness” on them by touching the beaten man.
I think of Mike Rowe and his “Dirty Jobs” franchise….. highlighting those who do the work others find distasteful…. even things many of us have never even been aware of or considered as being difficult or necessary, but without which our world would be reduced in one way or another.
“De-centering” and relinquishing some boundaries that keep others at a distance is necessary to be a good “neighbor”….. to be a follower of Christ.
I felt the anxiety with which JD Walt described what is, at times, the laborious task of writing the Daily Text. I like the pattern being established of Micah Smith’s introduction of E. Staley Jones’ “in Christ” series on Sundays and the addition of Saturday “glory stories”. I appreciate, too the additional time those thongs give JD for personal reflection, family time, and other needed activities. I cannot imagine the strain of the amount of preparation to deliver the content he writes and all the other plates that have to be juggled to run Seedbed.
The depth and challenges of the SDT are growing the kingdom within many of the readers and enlarging it’s territory as we step out and share them with others and invite friends in our own spheres of influence into the fold.
It is not just another daily devotional…. it has become a means of grace, initiating a new kind of community for many.
Our women’s clergy band this week was intense, intimate, and Holy Spirit-filled. And while I have enjoyed that kind of fellowship with a few close friends over the last 26 years, we are learning how to step out in boldness, be vulnerable, trust and give and receive grace with people we’ve known only months and not years. It teaches us to take some of those same risks in reaching out to others, as well, and finding that the Lord has already moved ahead of us to prepare the way for us to be of greater service in embodying His Spirit to others in daily contacts.
Yesterday I was ordering lunch for a friend and myself at a chain restaurant, Newks. A lady ahead of me said something to the young girl taking orders, I didn’t hear what it was but I could tell it was something personal about a family member. The young girl turned away, I could see her trying to hold back tears without success. The woman who had spoken to her just stood there, looking down at the counter, saying nothing. After a couple of efforts by the girl to gather herself and turn back to the counter, I walked around the counter and just reached out to her. She slumped into my embrace, crying and I whispered, “Who are the tears for?” “My sister,” she said. My sense in the moment was that she had lost her sister to death. I just held her and let her cry. After about 8-10 seconds two other women behind me joined us in a group hug and three mother-hens reassured her that her tears and expression of grief were quite alright. After a brief minute she shook off the emotional ambush and continued with her work and we all smiled at one another and went on about our lunches. The woman who had started the girl’s tears offered an apology to the girl and turned and left.
One perhaps has to have experienced the discomfort and vulnerability of a public emotional ambush and a mini-come-apart among strangers to step out with boldness and offer an act of kindness to defuse it and take some of the embarrassment out of it for everyone. When you’ve done that a few times, you learn to be real in most any setting, trusting God to lead.
Even though I don’t know the details, I know the pain of loss and the destabilizing impact of an emotional ambush and I’m praying for that shaken young girl this morning…… and for the reserved woman who seemed shaken and embarrassed by another’s tears. CBB 9/2/22
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