I use a tool called Rokeach Values Survey as part of our intake assessment at Titus 2…. it is sometimes very revealing and holds a mirror in front of women that they have difficulty looking at…
If one says she believes “A” about herself, values things that are consistent with “A”, but acts in a way that is consistent with “Z”, then a condition of cognitive dissonance is established in her soul….. she is inauthentic, not true to herself and certainly not honest with others.. She says she believes one thing, but her conduct contradicts it. One cannot hold two opposing positions indefinitely within the depth of her soul and be true to herself, unless she is, at heart, a lying reprobate who knows the truth about herself and intends to live that way, attempting to lie to the world at the same time. Sadly, however, the world is, by and large, more discerning than to be hoodwinked indefinitely. As the old saying goes, “You can fool all of the people some of the time. You can fool some of the people all of the time. But you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.” There have been numerous studies about the “wisdom of crowds”…..if you are exposed to enough people for a long enough period of time, some will see the “true” you, the one you are cautious about revealing, even the one you prefer to hide. People who isolate, engage in covert behavior, are evasive about their activities, and allow few people into their personal space are often hiding their true selves.
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe or how inauthentic your life has been, when Jesus Christ moves into one’s heart, it begins to be set aright….no more doublemindedness or slight of hand to fool the world. One becomes her true, authentic self and knows that even with her flaws and quirks, she is loved and is a magnificent work in progress!
Recently I spent time reviewing a Rokeach Value Survey with a young lady. She arranged its 18 terminal values and 18 instrumental values in prioritized order and we set about exploring what her choices revealed about her understanding of herself, her desires, and her choices. It revealed some woundedness in a couple of areas in which she had allowed the opinions of others to squelch aspects of herself as a child. We discussed ways to restore those aspects in her current adult life in a way that could bring a sense of restored wholeness and joy. It was an instructional and hope giving exercise.
One value that was prioritized highly after suffering years of spiritual, physical, emotional, educational, and financial oppression was a longing for freedom. Freedom in Christ actually entails two aspects. We are free FROM oppression, compulsion, obligation, and victimhood. But we are also free TO walk a path that is defined by personal choices, responsibility, self respect, and healthy boundaries, overcoming the burdens borne in oppression. We get to define freedom by the values and lifestyle we choose to embrace and not just by what we have thrown off or cast aside.
Hebrews 12:1 (NASB)
“Therefore, since we also have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let’s rid ourselves of every obstacle and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let’s run with endurance the race that is set before us.”