3/10/2017
A young man with whom Bill and I had some personal experience in our work with the Rescue Mission 4-5 years ago and who later continued his efforts in substance abuse recovery through another men’s program was sentenced to 30 years in prison yesterday for the suffocation death of his girlfriend’s baby 10 years ago….9 years after the fact of the baby’s death, his conscience was apparently softened and his guilt no longer bearable and he confessed. In most cases substance abuse is not the issue…..trying to avoid the pain….either inflicted on us by others or that which we have inflicted on others….the existential loneliness of a soul alone with its secrets and lies….brings us to the point of readiness to endure even bondage in this life in order to be free in our soul. .God bless those who suffer…..May you find peace and the joy of living in the light of the truth.
One person in the local recovery observed; “I have to “admire” someone whose conscience finally convicts them to the truth no matter how difficult the circumstances.”
Another said: “Although the crime was horrendous… No one can ever judge this person as hard as he had been judging himself I’m sure, for the past 9 yrs… He’s already been in.the prison of his mind for a long time.”
A relative of the baby, whom Bill and I had known for longer years through another means, responded: “I can judge him! That baby he killed was my nephew. You and Mr. Bill donated money to help us pay for the funeral. He has put our family through so much pain. And you sit here and talk about the courage it took? Do you people have any idea what we have gone through? I am angry! And I’m supposed to forgive him because that’s the right thing to do? I will never have it in me to forgive a person that put his hand over that baby’s mouth and watched him squirm for air. Can you imagine the horror in that child’s mind? Then he placed him facedown on the pillow. And then he went to the funeral home and helped us make arrangements. He helped my sister pick out the outfit to wear in his coffin. He then continued living with my sister for 3 years, later only to finally kick her out stating that he couldn’t deal with her craziness anymore because she couldn’t get over her son’s death. Please don’t sit here and insult our family by praising him for his courage. Maybe instead you should pray for all of us that have been living this nightmare. He deserves to rot in prison and then burn in hell for all of eternity!”
Attempts at consolation seem so inadequate in such circumstances, but I tried, nevertheless: “It is a tragedy for you all. I can’t imagine the grief. While he lied and weaseled for years, he finally was broken and acknowledged his crime. I do believe that is a work of God in his heart even though he had to know what it would cost him. It is also justice for the innocent child. I pray for everyone in this situation. You all have suffered greatly and I know such grief never goes away. He has been paying in guilt and will pay now with incarceration for most of the rest of his life, if not all…..but God can and does forgive.”
When we refuse to do the same, no matter how long it takes and hard it is, we separate ourselves from God. I pray your family will find peace now that the truth has come to light.”
The relative continued: “How does God forgive a vicious monster? How do I forgive? I don’t understand how we are supposed to do that. I feel nothing but hatred towards him. I am a good person with a good heart and I have forgiven alot of things in my life. Showing forgiveness was the only way I was able to let go of the injustices inflicted upon me. But I don’t understand how I could ever forgive him for this. I just don’t have it in me.”
I replied: ” I have prayed for others who had similar bitterness and hardness toward someone who’d hurt them. All I can tell you is that, in knowing and loving the Lord, he will help you. It may take you to your own dying breath to do so, which would be unfortunate. Life can be good again even after great sorrow. Your nephew is in the arms of Christ and you will see him again, if you let Christ help you through this.”
She continued: “I have always admired you and I still do. You and Mr. Bill are genuinely good people. I respect your opinion. I pray that one day I will be able to overcome the sadness and the hatred that I am feeling today. I do not want this to consume my soul. So please continue to pray for myself and my sister who has endured so much pain. I welcome all the prayers that I am able to receive right now. Maybe one day I will finally be at peace within my own heart.”
My reply; “Desiring to be at peace and surrender the pain is a good beginning. We love you. If you want to visit together and pray. I’ll come to you.”