Almost 30 years ago I was working on a project with a group of Christian women. Some personal issues arose in the group (not involving me at all) and I became disillusioned with the way I saw them handle it within the group. I was talking to an older, wiser, more experienced friend about the situation and told her I had decided I would not do any more such projects with this group, as the difficulty with watching such conduct that seemed petty and hypocritical was more than I cared to be involved in. She said to me, “So let me get this straight. Because of your disappointment with a couple of human beings you are going to remove yourself from availability to God to do the things he wants to do in YOUR life?” Well, when she put it that way it was I who seemed petty and hypocritical. It was good training for working in the church. Keep the focus on Christ….not other people. Do what the Lord calls you to do. Even so when we see someone doing things that cause conflict and hurt for others in the church we have a responsibility to address it, especially if it is a process/system issue that appears to be resulting in harm to more than just oneself. The motive may not be malicious, but if the outcome is destructive, it needs to be addressed.
Twenty or so years later I was engaged in a process with another very different group of Christians and found myself facing similar disappointment in the level of arrogance, disrespect, lack of candor, presumptive thinking, back-stabbing, and hypocrisy exhibited by individuals with whom I was engaged. After months, then years, of silence from God on permission to walk away from the process, institution, and people God led me to some great understanding and personal growth and only then did He affirm my view that this was not a holy process and I was free to walk away, having gotten all the good out of it He intended and seeing with unvarnished clarity that God had other far more productive options for me to achieve his purpose.
In the last several years I received an unsolicited affirmation of my choice to fight for what I viewed was right, even though in the eyes of many I lost the battle. It was from someone who had known my ministry and my heart:
“On the matter of your (church) adversities, I want you to know that has grieved me and pulled back the curtain on the dark side of the institution. It has become evident to me that (its) emphasis on (the role) of women has sometimes become a focus on “the right kind” of women who adhere to the “proper” theological persuasion. The institution has sometimes felt threatened by evangelical women, particularly those whom they perceive as assertive.
I have great hopes that the (changes ahead) will open doors for women like you who have experienced discrimination in the current institution. My experience of being in the clear theological minority, as well, is an uncomfortable feeling. It doesn’t feel like the church where I met Jesus and fell in love with the scriptures. We are far from united. There are two mutually exclusive and incompatible institutions entangled in what is ironically called “united”. The time for us to come out from among them is long overdue.”
It was a surprisingly honest affirmation of what the Lord had told me sitting in a meeting with that group that felt for all the world like an ambush in 2014:”This is not about you. It is about a bigger battle in the heavenlies. Wait and watch.”
Parentheses were used to paraphrase in order to protect identity of the individual.
wtitten 4/2/2021